'always have been'.

i'm finally done with my painting and my write-up. and only now do i realise what i really painted it for, what exactly went through my mind. the Agony of Loss, it's called. and yes, i was still coping with loss as i pasted paint onto the canvas. the loss of important people, who meant a lot to me and had been gone for long.

i painted when in a state of missing and worry, in the state of hoping and denial. that was all it was about. all it's been about- losing many people of importance to me, but mainly, one person in mind. and yes, i feel like i've relieved myself from a burden, and put everything behind me, now that i'm done with the painting.

and you, yes you, i'm thankful for all you've done for me, and to me. you've beem my inspiration, and it seems like you still are. but i am moving on and i will find yet other things in life to look to for inspiration. but i won't forget all that i've learnt from you or how much you've taught me, for one- how salt can be drank with coke perhaps. ahaha. and of course, how much stronger you've made me, with all that you've put through. and for that, i sincerely thank you.

together with everybody who has stood by my side- i really really really thank you too.


now, it's time to finish up my school homework.