'I get kinda shaky when they mention you, I just lose my cool'.
Gosh, band sure was tiring today. All the mark-timing and the formation preparation really drained the energy out of me. My legs are a little achy from marching on the spot so much. Haha. The trombone is really heavy to carry home too, my arms hurt quite a bit. Oh well, but I enjoyed myself anyhow.
I am running out of time to prepare the christmas gifts! Time to start to really save up, so much to buy, so little to spend. Oh well, but the joy of giving is just so rewarding. I love feeling that sense of satisfaction when the gifts are all done, and wrapped, the cards all written. Ha, I'll just have to make use of this two weeks of break from band.
All I want for Christmas is you, wherever you are. It's been a year since I've seen you, actually. Haha. I'll hope to see you soon enough.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
'Love Actually'.
A few videos from Youtube, taken from the movie Love Actually, that I'd like to share.
Keira Knightly plays a newly married woman, loved by another man, her husband's best friend. The man is played by Colin Firth. It's my favourite portion of the show, you should watch. Won't take long to load.
The next video is of a little girl performing at a school christmas concert. The actress is only 11 years old, Olivia Olson.
A few videos from Youtube, taken from the movie Love Actually, that I'd like to share.
Keira Knightly plays a newly married woman, loved by another man, her husband's best friend. The man is played by Colin Firth. It's my favourite portion of the show, you should watch. Won't take long to load.
The next video is of a little girl performing at a school christmas concert. The actress is only 11 years old, Olivia Olson.
'You are my only, my only one'.
Why do I like watching movies over and over again? Well, it's just really comforting to be able to know something so well that you can prepare yourself before anything happens. A little ability to predict 'the unpredictable' wouldn't kill, would it? Because being able to do so is what makes me happy sometimes.
We all get tired of unpredictable situations, once in a while. So tired in fact that little things like these just makes it all better...
Blind by Lifehouse:
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turn around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
Why do I like watching movies over and over again? Well, it's just really comforting to be able to know something so well that you can prepare yourself before anything happens. A little ability to predict 'the unpredictable' wouldn't kill, would it? Because being able to do so is what makes me happy sometimes.
We all get tired of unpredictable situations, once in a while. So tired in fact that little things like these just makes it all better...
Blind by Lifehouse:
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turn around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
'Imagine falling again. It's gonna hurt.'
I remember every second of it. The pressure against your chest, unabling you to breathe, nearly suffocating you but not exactly. You'd think you'd die soon enough but you find yourself feeling like this for hours. Your head pounding, your chest heaving and aching, you body feeling detached from your mind, you walk around half-dead. You'd wish you would drop dead and die, but luck isn't on your side just yet.
The hours would lead into days, and you wonder if you're actually alive or if you just died in a nightmare, unable to awake. And you'd pray everyday, for you soul to be taken away, to allow you to rest in peace, for someone to relief you of this unbelievably hurting numbness. You'd feel more drained by each day, until someone finally comes along and attempts to lend you a helping hand, pull you of the ground.
It mostly fails to work but as time passes, the numbness slowly fades, and you start to feel, slightly. Starting with a tingling sensation all over, and then leading into a stinging pain all around. But soon, you feel grateful for the pain, because at least you know you can feel again, you know you're alive. Pain is your friend, it reminds you that you're alive.
Darling, please don't be silly, I don't want to see you go through the same thing. I'm so afraid that when you do, I might not be able to help you up again, that you might not even reach out for anyone. Girl, I love you, and we all do. Please don't be stupid enough to put yourself through all this shit again. Alright?
I remember every second of it. The pressure against your chest, unabling you to breathe, nearly suffocating you but not exactly. You'd think you'd die soon enough but you find yourself feeling like this for hours. Your head pounding, your chest heaving and aching, you body feeling detached from your mind, you walk around half-dead. You'd wish you would drop dead and die, but luck isn't on your side just yet.
The hours would lead into days, and you wonder if you're actually alive or if you just died in a nightmare, unable to awake. And you'd pray everyday, for you soul to be taken away, to allow you to rest in peace, for someone to relief you of this unbelievably hurting numbness. You'd feel more drained by each day, until someone finally comes along and attempts to lend you a helping hand, pull you of the ground.
It mostly fails to work but as time passes, the numbness slowly fades, and you start to feel, slightly. Starting with a tingling sensation all over, and then leading into a stinging pain all around. But soon, you feel grateful for the pain, because at least you know you can feel again, you know you're alive. Pain is your friend, it reminds you that you're alive.
Darling, please don't be silly, I don't want to see you go through the same thing. I'm so afraid that when you do, I might not be able to help you up again, that you might not even reach out for anyone. Girl, I love you, and we all do. Please don't be stupid enough to put yourself through all this shit again. Alright?
'Evil is tricky'.
I'm just done watching White Oleander. Well, I kind of finished it half an hour ago, but I went to bathe first, before sitting down to blog. Oh well, as usual, a feel words caught my attention - they make sense.
'It's good that you're trying to identify evil, Astrid. But evil is tricky, just when you think you know what it is, it changes its form. Learning its nature takes a lifetime of study. I will not lose you, not to them. Those people are the enemy, Astrid...'
'...But how do I show nothing, not a taste, not a smell, not even the color of the sky has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her. I don't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous was the last time that I felt safe.'
'In my opinion, if there was a god, he sure as well ain't worth praying to.'
Beautiful show. I mean, if I had to choose between the book and the movie, I'd say the book was hell better. But, the plot was good, afterall, it wasn't too bad. I did enjoy it, perhaps because I got to read the book. Yeah, perhaps.
I'm just done watching White Oleander. Well, I kind of finished it half an hour ago, but I went to bathe first, before sitting down to blog. Oh well, as usual, a feel words caught my attention - they make sense.
'It's good that you're trying to identify evil, Astrid. But evil is tricky, just when you think you know what it is, it changes its form. Learning its nature takes a lifetime of study. I will not lose you, not to them. Those people are the enemy, Astrid...'
'...But how do I show nothing, not a taste, not a smell, not even the color of the sky has ever been as clear and sharp as it was when I belonged to her. I don't know how to express that being with someone so dangerous was the last time that I felt safe.'
'In my opinion, if there was a god, he sure as well ain't worth praying to.'
Beautiful show. I mean, if I had to choose between the book and the movie, I'd say the book was hell better. But, the plot was good, afterall, it wasn't too bad. I did enjoy it, perhaps because I got to read the book. Yeah, perhaps.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
'Not worth my time'.
Hero was utterly boring. Gosh, the relief of stepping out of the theatre was so overwhelming. I went high with the feeling of relief. I suggest that no one watches the show. It felt like a torture chamber, sitting there.
I guess, neither am I.
Half an hour each weekend. That was the deal. Haha. It became 15 minutes every 3 months.
Hero was utterly boring. Gosh, the relief of stepping out of the theatre was so overwhelming. I went high with the feeling of relief. I suggest that no one watches the show. It felt like a torture chamber, sitting there.
I guess, neither am I.
Half an hour each weekend. That was the deal. Haha. It became 15 minutes every 3 months.
Monday, November 26, 2007
'Quizzes'.
Could you be any more like Chandler? The most lovable wiseguy around, you've got more than a little Bing inside you, don't 'cha? Front and center in your Chandler-ness is that unstoppable wit, keeping everyone in stitches (or at least deflecting uncomfortable situations). And like the Chan-Chan man, you'd never leave your pals out in the cold. But your generosity is so inconspicuous that people often don't even notice it.
Romantically, a soft, sweet, heart and charming, insecurity rule. You might, however, be held back from love by that nagging little fear of, well, growing up. Ya think? But, like the adorable Mr. Bing himself, it's just because you care so much and don't want to let anyone down.
You know you're one tough cookie. But people really adore you for your soft side. Of course you can take care of yourself, but you also make sure to take care of those around you, and, hey, you always look good doing it!
You appreciate the finer things in life and tend to seek out others who share your refined tastes. High fashion, gourmet meals, luxurious getaways — these are the kinds of things that you enjoy. If you can experience them with a worldly, stylish mate, all the better. You are drawn to people who know how to take care of themselves and are hooked in socially. Whether you're out at a club or a restaurant opening, it's important to you to be part of the scene.
We all have questions.
Could you be any more like Chandler? The most lovable wiseguy around, you've got more than a little Bing inside you, don't 'cha? Front and center in your Chandler-ness is that unstoppable wit, keeping everyone in stitches (or at least deflecting uncomfortable situations). And like the Chan-Chan man, you'd never leave your pals out in the cold. But your generosity is so inconspicuous that people often don't even notice it.
Romantically, a soft, sweet, heart and charming, insecurity rule. You might, however, be held back from love by that nagging little fear of, well, growing up. Ya think? But, like the adorable Mr. Bing himself, it's just because you care so much and don't want to let anyone down.
You know you're one tough cookie. But people really adore you for your soft side. Of course you can take care of yourself, but you also make sure to take care of those around you, and, hey, you always look good doing it!
You appreciate the finer things in life and tend to seek out others who share your refined tastes. High fashion, gourmet meals, luxurious getaways — these are the kinds of things that you enjoy. If you can experience them with a worldly, stylish mate, all the better. You are drawn to people who know how to take care of themselves and are hooked in socially. Whether you're out at a club or a restaurant opening, it's important to you to be part of the scene.
We all have questions.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
'Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron'.
I can't get enough of this film. Found the movie, split into many parts, on youtube. You should load each one and try to watch it when you have time.
I'm not sure if all the parts are complete but you can check it for yourselves. Haha. It's rather enjoyable, an animation, really. I could watch it over and over again.
I can't get enough of this film. Found the movie, split into many parts, on youtube. You should load each one and try to watch it when you have time.
I'm not sure if all the parts are complete but you can check it for yourselves. Haha. It's rather enjoyable, an animation, really. I could watch it over and over again.
'24th of November'.
Exactly one year ago, at this exact time, I was entering M.I.C.A. building, attending the studio's art exhibition with Erica, Steph, Rachel and Joshua. Gosh, I had so much fun and was rather high. I thoroughly enjoyed that night...
I was just thinking about time dimensions. If there are different dimensions to time. So, somewhere out there, another of me is reliving the 24th of November, 2006. Haha. Lucky her.
Save Me by Corrinne May:
I drift, I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like the putty in your hands
I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a roller coaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who i am
Just take my hand and
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
I had a dream that i
was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Oh ' cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting
Before i met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought i had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Exactly one year ago, at this exact time, I was entering M.I.C.A. building, attending the studio's art exhibition with Erica, Steph, Rachel and Joshua. Gosh, I had so much fun and was rather high. I thoroughly enjoyed that night...
I was just thinking about time dimensions. If there are different dimensions to time. So, somewhere out there, another of me is reliving the 24th of November, 2006. Haha. Lucky her.
Save Me by Corrinne May:
I drift, I burn, I fly
When you sing lullabies
I'm helpless, I'm yearning
I'm like the putty in your hands
I laugh, I dream, I cry
When you take me on a roller coaster ride
You see me through and through
You see just who i am
Just take my hand and
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
I had a dream that i
was falling from the sky
At 90 miles an hour
I was bound to crash and die
But out of nowhere you came and rescued me
There must be some grace in the touch of your face
I'm so happy that I've found you
I'm no longer afraid
Oh ' cause you
Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting
Before i met you
Life was slow-mo
So slow-mo
I thought i had it figured out
But you came and turned my whole world upside down
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows you've come to
Save me from this place
Heaven knows I'm falling
For you, my sweet embrace
Heaven Knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Friday, November 23, 2007
'Dum dee dum dum'.
Oh, the joy that kids can bring! It's amazing! You'll only know it when you get to experience it, first-hand. To tutor and guide these little adorable young creatures... Ahh, it is quite wonderful.
It's a pity my Daddy's overseas. I want to borrow his camera to capture these adorable little people and paste it all over my computer. To show the world what they're missing out on. Haha. Or to remind myself what I was missing out on a few days back.
What an awfully sweet farewell... I'll see you around.
Oh, the joy that kids can bring! It's amazing! You'll only know it when you get to experience it, first-hand. To tutor and guide these little adorable young creatures... Ahh, it is quite wonderful.
It's a pity my Daddy's overseas. I want to borrow his camera to capture these adorable little people and paste it all over my computer. To show the world what they're missing out on. Haha. Or to remind myself what I was missing out on a few days back.
What an awfully sweet farewell... I'll see you around.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
'Perhaps, perhaps'.
I'm so lost, and I'm so confused. I feel like shit, and I have mostly you to thank. At least you now have wonderful proof of how your guilt trip worked on me.
I don't know why, and I don't know how. I need my sleep, but I'm so scared to dream. Now you have wonderful proof of how your guilt trip worked on me.
I'm sorry, and yet I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like I could fall apart into a million piece, right here and now. Here, your guilt trip has worked on me.
Am I free now?
I'm so lost, and I'm so confused. I feel like shit, and I have mostly you to thank. At least you now have wonderful proof of how your guilt trip worked on me.
I don't know why, and I don't know how. I need my sleep, but I'm so scared to dream. Now you have wonderful proof of how your guilt trip worked on me.
I'm sorry, and yet I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like I could fall apart into a million piece, right here and now. Here, your guilt trip has worked on me.
Am I free now?
'What's this, a joke?'
What the hell. Don't play around with me like that, it's not funny and it's not going to work. So, give up already, it's getting pretty irritating. Especially when you're causing so much discomfort in my stomach.
I remember the moment when I felt her little fingers grasp my wrist, her voice squeeking, 'Jie jie! it's not mine!'
When I was young, I used to believe that humans reproduced through marriage. I also thought that my parents got married thrice, in fact. And I constantly pestered my mum, saying 'Mummy, please marry Papa one more time!... I want a younger sister!'
What the hell. Don't play around with me like that, it's not funny and it's not going to work. So, give up already, it's getting pretty irritating. Especially when you're causing so much discomfort in my stomach.
I remember the moment when I felt her little fingers grasp my wrist, her voice squeeking, 'Jie jie! it's not mine!'
When I was young, I used to believe that humans reproduced through marriage. I also thought that my parents got married thrice, in fact. And I constantly pestered my mum, saying 'Mummy, please marry Papa one more time!... I want a younger sister!'
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
'teacher teacher!'
Primary school kids aren't that terrible. In fact, most of them are so adorable (I was not prepared to say this when I left the house). Gosh, but now, I just wanna squeeze [only some] of them so hard! They're so tiny and huggable... aha. And the guys may be rowdy and oh-so-noisy but they're still so young and innocent. It's quite alien to see the innocent faces again.
One, I've broken. The other, is fulfilled.
I need to improve on my spelling.
Primary school kids aren't that terrible. In fact, most of them are so adorable (I was not prepared to say this when I left the house). Gosh, but now, I just wanna squeeze [only some] of them so hard! They're so tiny and huggable... aha. And the guys may be rowdy and oh-so-noisy but they're still so young and innocent. It's quite alien to see the innocent faces again.
One, I've broken. The other, is fulfilled.
I need to improve on my spelling.
'Happy Birthday, Siu Lun!'
Gosh, I just realised the ten years of age gap between us. Anyway, happy birthday once again! And thank you for everything, the downloading of songs, the burning of movies onto DVDs, the patient listening to my whines, the irritating tags on my tagboard and mean writings on my facebook wall. But, I love you so, nevertheless. Good luck to all you do, andwhoever you do. (: Loads of love.
I just ate two bananas covered with Nutella chocolate spread and dripped with condense milk, half a glass of milk, 8 pieces of deep fried potato wedge. Yes, I have never felt fatter. I have a reason though! You see, I didn't feel like sleeping (perhaps I was scared of doing so) and I was pretty upset. So, eating sounded like a good option...
I'm tired. Tomorrow's gonna be hell of a fun day, tutoring and running around with little noisy... creatures. Attending to their every need, taking their attendance. Gosh. Sounds spectacular? Ha, sure sure, indeeed it does.
Gosh, I just realised the ten years of age gap between us. Anyway, happy birthday once again! And thank you for everything, the downloading of songs, the burning of movies onto DVDs, the patient listening to my whines, the irritating tags on my tagboard and mean writings on my facebook wall. But, I love you so, nevertheless. Good luck to all you do, and
I just ate two bananas covered with Nutella chocolate spread and dripped with condense milk, half a glass of milk, 8 pieces of deep fried potato wedge. Yes, I have never felt fatter. I have a reason though! You see, I didn't feel like sleeping (perhaps I was scared of doing so) and I was pretty upset. So, eating sounded like a good option...
I'm tired. Tomorrow's gonna be hell of a fun day, tutoring and running around with little noisy... creatures. Attending to their every need, taking their attendance. Gosh. Sounds spectacular? Ha, sure sure, indeeed it does.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
'I'm losing my memory'.
I just realised that I have forgotten to go to National Dental Centre for my dental appointment. I shall call NDC tomorrow and rearrange for another appointment. However, I am quite sure that they will only reschedule me to somewhere in January, unfortunately.
Two rented DVDs were posted to us today. So, I got to watched Spirit, again. Which will always remain my favourite animation, will something better is produced. It is so beautiful, the animation, the storyline, everything. Oh, and not forgetting it's beautiful soundtrack, performed by the Bryan Adams and composed by the Hans Zimmer. I haven't any idea why, but they paid Matt Damon to narrate the story, which isn't more than 30 lines, I would think...
Oh yes, the horses in the animation do not talk. Which makes it a ton more realistic than most animations, which is another reason why I prefer it to all the rest.
Just now, I just watched Spirited Away with my sister. It was fairly enjoyable, and quite exciting. I have, actually, watched it before. However, when I did, three years ago, the whole show was in chinese so, I barely understood it. Despite it being a little too disturbing for my comfort, I did enjoy the show though I still don't get why there's a whole fuss about how touching the ending is, because I thought it wasn't really.
And I felt that it missed out on explaining a lot of things. It felt too... slipshod. Not my taste actually, the ending. But it still was rather enjoying, in whole.
Heroes episode 9 of season 2, was extremely good, and kept me at the edge of my seat for that 50 minutes. It was fantastic, and really impressive. I was rather impressed because they screwed up episode 8.
You're a liar. That, I have absolutely no doubt of. Your words hold no truth, and are almost as shallow as you are. I can't believe I thought there was more to you...
I know I've said this a thousand time, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever stop - you disappoint me so.
I just realised that I have forgotten to go to National Dental Centre for my dental appointment. I shall call NDC tomorrow and rearrange for another appointment. However, I am quite sure that they will only reschedule me to somewhere in January, unfortunately.
Two rented DVDs were posted to us today. So, I got to watched Spirit, again. Which will always remain my favourite animation, will something better is produced. It is so beautiful, the animation, the storyline, everything. Oh, and not forgetting it's beautiful soundtrack, performed by the Bryan Adams and composed by the Hans Zimmer. I haven't any idea why, but they paid Matt Damon to narrate the story, which isn't more than 30 lines, I would think...
Oh yes, the horses in the animation do not talk. Which makes it a ton more realistic than most animations, which is another reason why I prefer it to all the rest.
Just now, I just watched Spirited Away with my sister. It was fairly enjoyable, and quite exciting. I have, actually, watched it before. However, when I did, three years ago, the whole show was in chinese so, I barely understood it. Despite it being a little too disturbing for my comfort, I did enjoy the show though I still don't get why there's a whole fuss about how touching the ending is, because I thought it wasn't really.
And I felt that it missed out on explaining a lot of things. It felt too... slipshod. Not my taste actually, the ending. But it still was rather enjoying, in whole.
Heroes episode 9 of season 2, was extremely good, and kept me at the edge of my seat for that 50 minutes. It was fantastic, and really impressive. I was rather impressed because they screwed up episode 8.
You're a liar. That, I have absolutely no doubt of. Your words hold no truth, and are almost as shallow as you are. I can't believe I thought there was more to you...
I know I've said this a thousand time, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever stop - you disappoint me so.
'blogskin updated'.
I took a few hours to do this. I started out with my original blogskin actually, and changing the colors or the texts and stuff, but I thought it still looked boring. So, I thought, wouldn't kill to change it and so I did. However, I spent an hour more to edit the new blogskin to perfection, or at least to my satisfaction.
I need a dreamcatcher above my bed.
I took a few hours to do this. I started out with my original blogskin actually, and changing the colors or the texts and stuff, but I thought it still looked boring. So, I thought, wouldn't kill to change it and so I did. However, I spent an hour more to edit the new blogskin to perfection, or at least to my satisfaction.
I need a dreamcatcher above my bed.
Monday, November 19, 2007
'i'm sorry i ran away, it was all i could do'.
you might think i was just being a bitch, and you might think that i'm insensitive and ungrateful. perhaps i am, perhaps i am the bitch you think i am, and perhaps i'm a horrid person, incapable of appreciating all you have done. well, there's more to that. there's my side...
i do appreciate all you have done. or all the good you have done for me, being there as a friend in times when i was really upset, helping me get up on my feet again. and i'm thankful, i am. but i have been hurt by your insensitivity, a countless number of times. and i guess, i've recently realised - it's about time i walk away, and stop putting myself through more.
i was afraid, i was scared. and that's my reason, whether you believe it or not. i was so tempted to throw my arms around you, smile and say that i've missed you. hello! it's been such a long time, how are you? but i didn't want to, because i shouldn't, it's something i know. so, just as a way of stopping myself from doing so, i had to turn away, pretending you weren't worth my acknowledgement.
well, you probably wouldn't be reading this, but just so you do - i'm sorry, it's something i had to do. i hope you'll forgive me, soon enough...
i complete White Oleander today. wonderful book, but quite disturbing. it just tears you down from the inside, the pity that you feel for each characters. gosh, it can kill. it's quite emotionally bearing to read the book, so be prepared when you do. here's something i found interesting:
'You ask me about regret? Let me tell you a few things about regret, my darling. There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air in between, or each link separately, as if you would uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or the ending itself? I've given more thought to this question than you can begin to imagine.'
i liked it because it's so sick, it's so sad. it's sad, but yet true. and it really isn't anything else but the truth.
you might think i was just being a bitch, and you might think that i'm insensitive and ungrateful. perhaps i am, perhaps i am the bitch you think i am, and perhaps i'm a horrid person, incapable of appreciating all you have done. well, there's more to that. there's my side...
i do appreciate all you have done. or all the good you have done for me, being there as a friend in times when i was really upset, helping me get up on my feet again. and i'm thankful, i am. but i have been hurt by your insensitivity, a countless number of times. and i guess, i've recently realised - it's about time i walk away, and stop putting myself through more.
i was afraid, i was scared. and that's my reason, whether you believe it or not. i was so tempted to throw my arms around you, smile and say that i've missed you. hello! it's been such a long time, how are you? but i didn't want to, because i shouldn't, it's something i know. so, just as a way of stopping myself from doing so, i had to turn away, pretending you weren't worth my acknowledgement.
well, you probably wouldn't be reading this, but just so you do - i'm sorry, it's something i had to do. i hope you'll forgive me, soon enough...
i complete White Oleander today. wonderful book, but quite disturbing. it just tears you down from the inside, the pity that you feel for each characters. gosh, it can kill. it's quite emotionally bearing to read the book, so be prepared when you do. here's something i found interesting:
'You ask me about regret? Let me tell you a few things about regret, my darling. There is no end to it. You cannot find the beginning of the chain that brought us from there to here. Should you regret the whole chain, and the air in between, or each link separately, as if you would uncouple them? Do you regret the beginning which ended so badly, or the ending itself? I've given more thought to this question than you can begin to imagine.'
i liked it because it's so sick, it's so sad. it's sad, but yet true. and it really isn't anything else but the truth.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
'hold me like you'll never let me go'.
my promise, i'll keep.
you, however, are a different story, in whole. you scare me, and i'd readily admit to that. because you have broke through all my walls, and broken all former records, and swept me off my feet with words alone.
of course, though, i'll always remember what Michelle once told me. words, they're just a few alphabets put together. always remember that action is bigger than words.
indeed, indeed.
my promise, i'll keep.
you, however, are a different story, in whole. you scare me, and i'd readily admit to that. because you have broke through all my walls, and broken all former records, and swept me off my feet with words alone.
of course, though, i'll always remember what Michelle once told me. words, they're just a few alphabets put together. always remember that action is bigger than words.
indeed, indeed.
'one more one more!'
i forgot one more favourite quote from The Holiday:
Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
i forgot one more favourite quote from The Holiday:
Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and suprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
'i'll find a way'.
let's see, i have to get to holland v tomorrow with a wet painting in hand. however, i will not be taking a taxi nor will i be driven there by anyone. so, i will have to subject myself to a ride on the bus. which will further lead to the various stares.
i hate those stares they give me. they come in many forms. first, we have those who critic your painting. they stare at the painting as if they're artists themselves, and as if i had made a major error somewhere on the canvas. they'll squint and stare at your painting, frowning at times, as if it's the most disastrous thing they've laid their eyes on.it makes me feel really uncomfortable.
the curious stares are more common. they look at you with an eyebrow raised and then at your painting and back at you. the look in their eyes are, most of the time, still rather passive though. as if questioning if the painting was done by you. well, it hasn't anything to do with them, so i mostly try to ignore them.
then we have the stares that really irritate me. they'll stare at your painting and back at you. and when they turn back to look at you once more, they'll give you a once-over, surveying if you have enough capability to have done it yourself. and when they have deemed you incapable they'll show this by forcing a smile, their eyes still squinted, their eyebrows slightly raised.
it's only then when i really do appreciate the people who sit around, not really bothering about your presence on the bus or anyone around them, in fact. the ones that sit and stare out of the window, the ones that make up little dreams in their heads as they sit around. the same one, however, that constantly fail to offer their seats to those who really need them.
art class, art class, here i come [if i wake up on time].
let's see, i have to get to holland v tomorrow with a wet painting in hand. however, i will not be taking a taxi nor will i be driven there by anyone. so, i will have to subject myself to a ride on the bus. which will further lead to the various stares.
i hate those stares they give me. they come in many forms. first, we have those who critic your painting. they stare at the painting as if they're artists themselves, and as if i had made a major error somewhere on the canvas. they'll squint and stare at your painting, frowning at times, as if it's the most disastrous thing they've laid their eyes on.it makes me feel really uncomfortable.
the curious stares are more common. they look at you with an eyebrow raised and then at your painting and back at you. the look in their eyes are, most of the time, still rather passive though. as if questioning if the painting was done by you. well, it hasn't anything to do with them, so i mostly try to ignore them.
then we have the stares that really irritate me. they'll stare at your painting and back at you. and when they turn back to look at you once more, they'll give you a once-over, surveying if you have enough capability to have done it yourself. and when they have deemed you incapable they'll show this by forcing a smile, their eyes still squinted, their eyebrows slightly raised.
it's only then when i really do appreciate the people who sit around, not really bothering about your presence on the bus or anyone around them, in fact. the ones that sit and stare out of the window, the ones that make up little dreams in their heads as they sit around. the same one, however, that constantly fail to offer their seats to those who really need them.
art class, art class, here i come [if i wake up on time].
Saturday, November 17, 2007
'it's my only salvation'.
i found more quotes from The Holiday. wonderful ones. and horribly witty and amusing.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.
and then, there's another quote. the one which we normally hear and turn fuzzy on the inside. here.
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with you. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: three for the price of one. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is you.
i found more quotes from The Holiday. wonderful ones. and horribly witty and amusing.
I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.
and then, there's another quote. the one which we normally hear and turn fuzzy on the inside. here.
I have another scenario for you - I'm in love with you. I apologize for the blunt delivery, but as problematic as this fact may be, I'm in love... with you. I'm not feeling this because you're leaving, and not because it feels good to feel this way... which, by the way, it does, or did before you went off like that. I can't figure out the mathematics of this, I just know I love you. I can't believe how many times I'm saying it! And I never thought I'd feel this way again, so that's pretty phenomenal. And I realize that I come as a package deal: three for the price of one. I know my package, perhaps in the light of day, isn't all that wonderful, but I finally know what I want and that, in itself, is a miracle. And what I want is you.
'why november 5th?'
i just wish i wasn't scorpio. you have no idea about the amount of jealousy we have to go through each day. no, not jealousy that is directed at ourselves but jealousy that we feel on the inside, that burning emotion? yeah, that. the type of jealousy that could make you kill.
i hate being a scorpio.
i just wish i wasn't scorpio. you have no idea about the amount of jealousy we have to go through each day. no, not jealousy that is directed at ourselves but jealousy that we feel on the inside, that burning emotion? yeah, that. the type of jealousy that could make you kill.
i hate being a scorpio.
'The Holiday'.
caught a few paragraphs that i felt was nice, in its own strange way.
"Turned out he wasn't in love with me like I thought. What I'm trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can ache in place that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over ever detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy?
And after all that, however long that may be, you'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
"You broke my heart, and you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to be mad with you, so I just punished myself for years!"
oh, and turns out, people out there - The Holiday ain't that bad a film. in fact, it's actually quite good, and quite enjoyable. it just needs someone with enough emotional capacity to enjoy, and understand the film. it was rated 4 out of 5. not bad, i would think.
watched it and thought it was bad? well, your loss.
caught a few paragraphs that i felt was nice, in its own strange way.
"Turned out he wasn't in love with me like I thought. What I'm trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can ache in place that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get or gyms you join or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over ever detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy?
And after all that, however long that may be, you'll go somewhere new and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
"You broke my heart, and you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to be mad with you, so I just punished myself for years!"
oh, and turns out, people out there - The Holiday ain't that bad a film. in fact, it's actually quite good, and quite enjoyable. it just needs someone with enough emotional capacity to enjoy, and understand the film. it was rated 4 out of 5. not bad, i would think.
watched it and thought it was bad? well, your loss.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
'i've never felt something so strong'.
was watching a show on plastic surgery just now. it's really gross, the way they drill through cartiliage, and hammer a thin layers off the top layer of skull out to replace eye sockets. it's really gross. it makes me feel grateful though, for everything. for the fact that i wasn't born deformed or involved in any terrible accidents...
sissypoo got me a set of cool headphones. in-ear headphones actually. they're not an extremely good pair. okay, wait, she didn't get it for me. i mean, she didn't purchase it, she purchased another pair for herself and the shop owner was so pleased that she was the first person who bought it that he offered her a free pair. and she chose a blue-turquoise-like color and gave it to me.
i'm pleased with the quality anyhow. the in-ear technology actually blocks out all other sound so that you only hear your music and therefore allowing you to listen to it at a lower volume which decreases risks of hearing problems. oh, it decreased the volume of my music by 10 notches. not bad huh.
Nothing I've Ever Known by Bryan Adams, OST of Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron:
Right now I feel
Just like a leaf on a breeze
Who knows where it's blowin'?
Who knows where it's goin'?
I find myself somewhere
I never thought I'd be.
I'm going round in circles, yeah
Thinkin' bout you and me....
And how do I explain it when
I don't know what to say?
What do I do now?
So much has changed.
Nothing I have ever known
Has made me feel this way.
Nothing I have ever seen,
Has made me want to stay.
Here I am, ready for you.
I'm torn and,
I'm fallin',
I hear my home callin', hey!
I've never felt something so strong.
Oh no.
It's like nothing I've ever known...
You're the one I'm lookin' for,
You're the one I need.
You're the one that gives me
A reason to believe.
Followin' our star,
Has lead to where you are.
I feel so strong now,
This can't be wrong now...
Nothing I have ever known
Has made me feel this way.
Nothing I have ever seen,
Has made me want to stay.
Here I am, ready for you.
I'm torn and,
I'm fallin',
I hear my home callin', hey!
I've never felt something so strong.
Oh no.
It's like nothing I've ever known,
Nothing I've ever known...
Right now I feel,
Just like a leaf on a breeze.
Who knows where it's blowin'?
And who knows
Where I'm goin'....
ha, mister, could i make the same bet with you, again? just like last year. this time, i'll really pray that you win the bet. it'll be nice...
was watching a show on plastic surgery just now. it's really gross, the way they drill through cartiliage, and hammer a thin layers off the top layer of skull out to replace eye sockets. it's really gross. it makes me feel grateful though, for everything. for the fact that i wasn't born deformed or involved in any terrible accidents...
sissypoo got me a set of cool headphones. in-ear headphones actually. they're not an extremely good pair. okay, wait, she didn't get it for me. i mean, she didn't purchase it, she purchased another pair for herself and the shop owner was so pleased that she was the first person who bought it that he offered her a free pair. and she chose a blue-turquoise-like color and gave it to me.
i'm pleased with the quality anyhow. the in-ear technology actually blocks out all other sound so that you only hear your music and therefore allowing you to listen to it at a lower volume which decreases risks of hearing problems. oh, it decreased the volume of my music by 10 notches. not bad huh.
Nothing I've Ever Known by Bryan Adams, OST of Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron:
Right now I feel
Just like a leaf on a breeze
Who knows where it's blowin'?
Who knows where it's goin'?
I find myself somewhere
I never thought I'd be.
I'm going round in circles, yeah
Thinkin' bout you and me....
And how do I explain it when
I don't know what to say?
What do I do now?
So much has changed.
Nothing I have ever known
Has made me feel this way.
Nothing I have ever seen,
Has made me want to stay.
Here I am, ready for you.
I'm torn and,
I'm fallin',
I hear my home callin', hey!
I've never felt something so strong.
Oh no.
It's like nothing I've ever known...
You're the one I'm lookin' for,
You're the one I need.
You're the one that gives me
A reason to believe.
Followin' our star,
Has lead to where you are.
I feel so strong now,
This can't be wrong now...
Nothing I have ever known
Has made me feel this way.
Nothing I have ever seen,
Has made me want to stay.
Here I am, ready for you.
I'm torn and,
I'm fallin',
I hear my home callin', hey!
I've never felt something so strong.
Oh no.
It's like nothing I've ever known,
Nothing I've ever known...
Right now I feel,
Just like a leaf on a breeze.
Who knows where it's blowin'?
And who knows
Where I'm goin'....
ha, mister, could i make the same bet with you, again? just like last year. this time, i'll really pray that you win the bet. it'll be nice...
'i wish i wasn't related to you'.
needy? you depend on everyone around you, you practically live off your boyfriend's affection, don't see how you can possibly live without it. you eat on her money, you suck the energy out of everyone around you to listen to you scream and whine everyday, and to you, i'm needy.
screw yourself, and look into the mirror. go look at yourself, good and hard. you'll need that.
hey darling, back to your other world of wonderful friends? where you're centre of attention, and everyone participates in the exact same things that you enjoy, just that they're better? oh cool, good for you. well, guess what, when your crowd of people decide that you're not worth their time again, don't come running to me, because i've got enough of waiting around.
you can't keep coming around only when they're gone. i'm not your spare tire that you only use when your car breaks down, i'm not the spare anything that you keep aside unless to replace something else that is gone! i've got tired of that. so the next time you break down, or the next time everything goes wrong, don't come running to me. ain't gonna be waiting around no more.
when everything's all wrong, you come running over being all nice and shit. got all the acting going on. well, now that everything's all perfect and fixed, i expect you're over there enjoying everything huh? with everyone licking your shoes? well, lucky you, because i didn't realise that i might have trusted you too much with a lil' of everything. so now, with you leaving, everything's all screwed up. and i suppose i'll be fixing it up myself.
oh, but don't worry, darling, it's gonna be all just done and fixed up, just like new, when you come running back. but, of course, i won't care to entertain your shit no more.
needy? you depend on everyone around you, you practically live off your boyfriend's affection, don't see how you can possibly live without it. you eat on her money, you suck the energy out of everyone around you to listen to you scream and whine everyday, and to you, i'm needy.
screw yourself, and look into the mirror. go look at yourself, good and hard. you'll need that.
hey darling, back to your other world of wonderful friends? where you're centre of attention, and everyone participates in the exact same things that you enjoy, just that they're better? oh cool, good for you. well, guess what, when your crowd of people decide that you're not worth their time again, don't come running to me, because i've got enough of waiting around.
you can't keep coming around only when they're gone. i'm not your spare tire that you only use when your car breaks down, i'm not the spare anything that you keep aside unless to replace something else that is gone! i've got tired of that. so the next time you break down, or the next time everything goes wrong, don't come running to me. ain't gonna be waiting around no more.
when everything's all wrong, you come running over being all nice and shit. got all the acting going on. well, now that everything's all perfect and fixed, i expect you're over there enjoying everything huh? with everyone licking your shoes? well, lucky you, because i didn't realise that i might have trusted you too much with a lil' of everything. so now, with you leaving, everything's all screwed up. and i suppose i'll be fixing it up myself.
oh, but don't worry, darling, it's gonna be all just done and fixed up, just like new, when you come running back. but, of course, i won't care to entertain your shit no more.
'but that was mine'.
that was my table, my chair, my reservation! and i'm not even late! this service is just absurd... no, no i will not be happy given a table at the smoking zone. because it simply is not right. i made a reservation and you gave my table away. i don't see why...
no, no. i insist on talking to your manager. where's you manager?
that was my table, my chair, my reservation! and i'm not even late! this service is just absurd... no, no i will not be happy given a table at the smoking zone. because it simply is not right. i made a reservation and you gave my table away. i don't see why...
no, no. i insist on talking to your manager. where's you manager?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
'when will you be back, darling?'
i do miss Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron so much. i used to have the whole album, which i only recently realised that i lost. i was broken, i was crushed, and awfully guilty, bleeding. my mummy had bought me the album as a gift, she spent quite a bit of money on it.
i'm determined to find it though, i'm quite sure it isn't thrown away. i got it at the end of 2005, it can't be gone so soon. so, anyway, i got Siulun, my dear cousin to download the album, through a legal source, for me. here's one of my favourite tracks:
Sound The Bugle by Bryan Adams:
Sound the bugle now - Play it just for me.
As the seasons change - Remember how I used to be.
Now I can't go on - I can't even start.
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart.
I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight.
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here.
Sound the bugle now - Tell them I don't care.
There's not a road I know - That leads to anywhere.
Without a light, I fear that I will - Stumble in the dark.
Lay right down - Decide not to go on.
Then from on high - Somewhere in the distance.
There's a voice that calls - Remember who you are.
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow.
So be strong tonight - Remember who you are.
You're a soldier now - fighting in a battle.
To be free once more - That's worth fighting for.
if i had a guy like Bryan Adams, i'd tie him to a chair, or a bedpost, or something. and i'd only feed him if he sings, like a toy! heavenly.
i do miss Spirit: Stallion Of The Cimarron so much. i used to have the whole album, which i only recently realised that i lost. i was broken, i was crushed, and awfully guilty, bleeding. my mummy had bought me the album as a gift, she spent quite a bit of money on it.
i'm determined to find it though, i'm quite sure it isn't thrown away. i got it at the end of 2005, it can't be gone so soon. so, anyway, i got Siulun, my dear cousin to download the album, through a legal source, for me. here's one of my favourite tracks:
Sound The Bugle by Bryan Adams:
Sound the bugle now - Play it just for me.
As the seasons change - Remember how I used to be.
Now I can't go on - I can't even start.
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart.
I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight.
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here.
Sound the bugle now - Tell them I don't care.
There's not a road I know - That leads to anywhere.
Without a light, I fear that I will - Stumble in the dark.
Lay right down - Decide not to go on.
Then from on high - Somewhere in the distance.
There's a voice that calls - Remember who you are.
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow.
So be strong tonight - Remember who you are.
You're a soldier now - fighting in a battle.
To be free once more - That's worth fighting for.
if i had a guy like Bryan Adams, i'd tie him to a chair, or a bedpost, or something. and i'd only feed him if he sings, like a toy! heavenly.
'gone is my sunshine'.
since it's past 12... so i'll just blog about yesterday.
went out with Harris, Kenneth, Carmina, Steph, Pao and Erica. had quite some fun teasing Harris and everything... aha. and we watched Stardust! which was rather nice, it wasn't fantastic but worth the money.
did you have any clue that the lyrics to the class You Are My Sunshine was so long?
You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away
The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping I dreamed
I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
the best fishing
and long tall corn;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oysters
and sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You made me happy
All day and night
You should have known, dear,
How much i loved you.
Why'd you take my sunshine away?
since it's past 12... so i'll just blog about yesterday.
went out with Harris, Kenneth, Carmina, Steph, Pao and Erica. had quite some fun teasing Harris and everything... aha. and we watched Stardust! which was rather nice, it wasn't fantastic but worth the money.
did you have any clue that the lyrics to the class You Are My Sunshine was so long?
You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away
The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping I dreamed
I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
the best fishing
and long tall corn;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oysters
and sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You made me happy
All day and night
You should have known, dear,
How much i loved you.
Why'd you take my sunshine away?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
'spiderman, spiderman. our friendly neighbourhood spiderman'.
just done watching the show. yeah, Spider-man 3. i thought it was rather nice, a little too nice an ending for my taste but it wasn't too bad. although the actresses and actors were a little too fat too. like Tobey, what's with the weight dude? and Bryce, too much time being the lady in the water, water retention or something? don't worry Topher, looking good as ever, except for the ugly yellow teeth, that's just gross.
oh, the guys have something with their eyes too. watch closely and you'll see that James' left eye gets droopy during the scene where he talks to Peter about him being 'the other guy'. it gets better seconds later when he winks though, i reckon then had to shoot it a few days later. and then Tobey has all the eyebags. gosh, kids are such trouble, aren't they?
won't you come save me too, in the nick of time? i'm falling fast, so fast. maybe if i scream, hm?
i'm tired. i'll just dream of Topher tonight... yummy.
just done watching the show. yeah, Spider-man 3. i thought it was rather nice, a little too nice an ending for my taste but it wasn't too bad. although the actresses and actors were a little too fat too. like Tobey, what's with the weight dude? and Bryce, too much time being the lady in the water, water retention or something? don't worry Topher, looking good as ever, except for the ugly yellow teeth, that's just gross.
oh, the guys have something with their eyes too. watch closely and you'll see that James' left eye gets droopy during the scene where he talks to Peter about him being 'the other guy'. it gets better seconds later when he winks though, i reckon then had to shoot it a few days later. and then Tobey has all the eyebags. gosh, kids are such trouble, aren't they?
won't you come save me too, in the nick of time? i'm falling fast, so fast. maybe if i scream, hm?
i'm tired. i'll just dream of Topher tonight... yummy.
Monday, November 12, 2007
'when inspiration struck'.
it was 01:03 am when i was hopping crazily in my seat, quite literally. no, not because of any physical reasons but mostly because inspiration to paint struck me at such a godly hour, when everyone in my family was turning in. and me, being afraid of the dark, wouldn't dare to stay up alone. so, you say that i could have turned on all the lights, but it was late and i couldn't tell how long i would take with my painting. i still needed sleep.
so, being a scaredy-cat, i jumped in my seat for about one minute and then went to bed.
now, i don't have much inspiration to paint anymore... this sucks.
it was 01:03 am when i was hopping crazily in my seat, quite literally. no, not because of any physical reasons but mostly because inspiration to paint struck me at such a godly hour, when everyone in my family was turning in. and me, being afraid of the dark, wouldn't dare to stay up alone. so, you say that i could have turned on all the lights, but it was late and i couldn't tell how long i would take with my painting. i still needed sleep.
so, being a scaredy-cat, i jumped in my seat for about one minute and then went to bed.
now, i don't have much inspiration to paint anymore... this sucks.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
'i will remember you'.
West Winds concert was totally spectacular! despite the fact that i had horrible seats, because Alvin refused to move and we were both late, so the doors to the stall seats had closed and we couldn't enter. anyway, it was still good. and, well, mr leow was good too.
after everything, went out with Sikai, Benjamin, Sarah, Izyan, Gabriel and Alvin. had quite some fun. the guys who will always remain... guys. and their lack of table manners, so on and so forth.
i'm quite tired. and my headache's killing me.
i can't believe... everything.
West Winds concert was totally spectacular! despite the fact that i had horrible seats, because Alvin refused to move and we were both late, so the doors to the stall seats had closed and we couldn't enter. anyway, it was still good. and, well, mr leow was good too.
after everything, went out with Sikai, Benjamin, Sarah, Izyan, Gabriel and Alvin. had quite some fun. the guys who will always remain... guys. and their lack of table manners, so on and so forth.
i'm quite tired. and my headache's killing me.
i can't believe... everything.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
'i'm scorpio'.
abstract from the 8days, november 8th issue:
'Scorpio is the deepest of all the signs. Scorpio types develop passionate interests and devotion to causes, which they persue with death-defying dedication. They fall deeply in love, but if hurt or rejected can spend hours plotting bitter revenge. They are usually interested in things deep, dark or hidden and the Scorpio solution to a problem is complete and total change.'
i'd admit to plotting revenge, but i have yet to acheive the sweetness of its final results. till then.
abstract from the 8days, november 8th issue:
'Scorpio is the deepest of all the signs. Scorpio types develop passionate interests and devotion to causes, which they persue with death-defying dedication. They fall deeply in love, but if hurt or rejected can spend hours plotting bitter revenge. They are usually interested in things deep, dark or hidden and the Scorpio solution to a problem is complete and total change.'
i'd admit to plotting revenge, but i have yet to acheive the sweetness of its final results. till then.
'eternal sunshine of a spotless mind'.
the show is inspiring and quite beautiful. however, it is quite difficult to comprehend due to it's rather warped potrayal of events and emotions. i am still moved by it though, it is quite heart-warming.
When You Told Me You Loved Me by Jessica Simpson:
Once, doesn't mean anything to me
Come show me the meaning of complete
Where did our love go wrong
Once we were so strong, how can I go on?
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
Why can't I just leave it all behind
I felt passion so bright that I was blind
Then something made me weak talking in my sleep
Baby, I'm in so deep and you know I believed
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
Your lips, your face something that time just can't erase
Find my heart it could break all over again
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
the show is inspiring and quite beautiful. however, it is quite difficult to comprehend due to it's rather warped potrayal of events and emotions. i am still moved by it though, it is quite heart-warming.
When You Told Me You Loved Me by Jessica Simpson:
Once, doesn't mean anything to me
Come show me the meaning of complete
Where did our love go wrong
Once we were so strong, how can I go on?
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
Why can't I just leave it all behind
I felt passion so bright that I was blind
Then something made me weak talking in my sleep
Baby, I'm in so deep and you know I believed
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
Your lips, your face something that time just can't erase
Find my heart it could break all over again
When you told you loved me
Did you know it would take me the rest of my life
To get the feeling of knowing a dream didn't turn out right
When you let me believe that you weren't complete without me by your side
How could I know that you would go that you would run
Baby, I thought you were the one
Thursday, November 08, 2007
'i'm falling more in love with the memories of you'.
ha. my parents have gone off to italy already. just like the did last year, to turkey, from the 13th to the 23rd of december. but now they'll be gone all the way to the 25th of november. oh well.
i enjoyed it more when they were off last year, because i had a lot more things to do and to take opportunity of their time of. i enjoyed my holidays more, last year. now, it's like just a bunch of thursdays strung together. in fact, thinking of it, i miss my december holidays from last year so so much. it was so fun, and i felt so free...
oh well, things like these don't happen everyday, or year. i wish i appreciated it more back then...
ha. my parents have gone off to italy already. just like the did last year, to turkey, from the 13th to the 23rd of december. but now they'll be gone all the way to the 25th of november. oh well.
i enjoyed it more when they were off last year, because i had a lot more things to do and to take opportunity of their time of. i enjoyed my holidays more, last year. now, it's like just a bunch of thursdays strung together. in fact, thinking of it, i miss my december holidays from last year so so much. it was so fun, and i felt so free...
oh well, things like these don't happen everyday, or year. i wish i appreciated it more back then...
'wishing you were somehow here again'.
january 12th, 2007. she couldn't forget the date or the way he looked at her the whole night through. on that night, he seemed so real, for once in her life. he seemed to have loved her so. he held on to her every word, her every action, he seemed to notice.
for once, she thought he would never leave her side, she though it would last, just the way she always did, and still does, wish it had. and when he spoke to her, the look in his eyes showed so much affection that she was almost surprised. it had never been that way before, but she thought it wouldn't kill to get use to. it was heaven, it was a dream come true.
he loved her now, so what more could she ask for anymore? she had him by her side. there was nothing more in the world she wanted at that very moment. everything seemed right, it seemed in place. and she was more than happy, she felt so... alive. she felt loved, by him. and it was something she would die for.
the night was over and as she sat with him at the bus stop, and looked into his eyes, she wished time would just pause. the way she wished time paused on the evening of december 4th, 2006. those moments of perfection don't come along everyday, and she knew, very well, they were worth remembering. she remembers telling him that she would never let anyone speak bad of him in such a matter, even though she loved them so, it didn't matter. she remembers looking into his eyes and telling herself that he was all she needed.
and as his bus neared them, she felt like screaming. she didn't want it to be over so soon but it was, and she guessed, there wasn't much she could do.
they got up and stood by the road. and he held her hands, to his chest. she could feel the warmth, his warmth, his heartbeat. she looked into his eyes, his face, the one of the boy she fell for, the boy she wished she could be with, every waking moment, as he leaned into her and pressed his lips against her's.
that kiss was different, and she felt it. she wanted to open her eyes to look into his, but she was so afraid of what she might see. she was scared of knowing it would be their last, it would be his final goodbye. so instead, she put her arms around his neck, she wanted more. she pressed into him, but he pulled back as the bus eased beside them. she wanted to think that that kiss was just a goodnight kiss, a temporary goodbye. but she knew more, and she must have been kidding herself to have even hoped so.
it was their last, it was his goodbye. it felt like he was apologizing, it felt like the last bit of love he had, in him, for her left him when he kissed her for the last time. and when she walked off, unsure of what to feel, unsure everything, she wished so hard that the night repeat itself once more. she wished so hard that she had turned away, not allowing to happen, then perhaps, he'd never have said goodbye. he would always stay by her side, by her.
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again O.S.T. of The Phantom Of The Opera:
You were once my one companion. You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could...
Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental
Seem, for you, the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle...
Too many years fighting back tears...
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try!
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye. Help me say goodbye!
january 12th, 2007. she couldn't forget the date or the way he looked at her the whole night through. on that night, he seemed so real, for once in her life. he seemed to have loved her so. he held on to her every word, her every action, he seemed to notice.
for once, she thought he would never leave her side, she though it would last, just the way she always did, and still does, wish it had. and when he spoke to her, the look in his eyes showed so much affection that she was almost surprised. it had never been that way before, but she thought it wouldn't kill to get use to. it was heaven, it was a dream come true.
he loved her now, so what more could she ask for anymore? she had him by her side. there was nothing more in the world she wanted at that very moment. everything seemed right, it seemed in place. and she was more than happy, she felt so... alive. she felt loved, by him. and it was something she would die for.
the night was over and as she sat with him at the bus stop, and looked into his eyes, she wished time would just pause. the way she wished time paused on the evening of december 4th, 2006. those moments of perfection don't come along everyday, and she knew, very well, they were worth remembering. she remembers telling him that she would never let anyone speak bad of him in such a matter, even though she loved them so, it didn't matter. she remembers looking into his eyes and telling herself that he was all she needed.
and as his bus neared them, she felt like screaming. she didn't want it to be over so soon but it was, and she guessed, there wasn't much she could do.
they got up and stood by the road. and he held her hands, to his chest. she could feel the warmth, his warmth, his heartbeat. she looked into his eyes, his face, the one of the boy she fell for, the boy she wished she could be with, every waking moment, as he leaned into her and pressed his lips against her's.
that kiss was different, and she felt it. she wanted to open her eyes to look into his, but she was so afraid of what she might see. she was scared of knowing it would be their last, it would be his final goodbye. so instead, she put her arms around his neck, she wanted more. she pressed into him, but he pulled back as the bus eased beside them. she wanted to think that that kiss was just a goodnight kiss, a temporary goodbye. but she knew more, and she must have been kidding herself to have even hoped so.
it was their last, it was his goodbye. it felt like he was apologizing, it felt like the last bit of love he had, in him, for her left him when he kissed her for the last time. and when she walked off, unsure of what to feel, unsure everything, she wished so hard that the night repeat itself once more. she wished so hard that she had turned away, not allowing to happen, then perhaps, he'd never have said goodbye. he would always stay by her side, by her.
Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again O.S.T. of The Phantom Of The Opera:
You were once my one companion. You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here
Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could...
Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental
Seem, for you, the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle...
Too many years fighting back tears...
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try!
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye. Help me say goodbye!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
'i am sorry'.
band prac was tiring. and i miss my eupho so much. i feel like i'm being unfaithful and betraying. oh well, i haven't much of a choice. i apologise, my love.
i am sorry if i hurt you. i am sorry if the words were too hurting and if it cut through you. i am, awfully sorry, and would pretend nothing happened if i could. if there was anything you sounded, it was angry. and nothing more... and i realised this only after reading it all over again. i don't know what it's about, but i'm hoping really bad that i didn't add to it. i think i'll be wasting my time if i went on hoping now.
once again, even though i was hurt and i was angry and furious and so so so pissed and disappointed, i still am sorry for all that i shouldn't have caused you in the first place. if there was something i could do, it would to be able to rewind time and make sure nothing of this happened.
i am sorry.
band prac was tiring. and i miss my eupho so much. i feel like i'm being unfaithful and betraying. oh well, i haven't much of a choice. i apologise, my love.
i am sorry if i hurt you. i am sorry if the words were too hurting and if it cut through you. i am, awfully sorry, and would pretend nothing happened if i could. if there was anything you sounded, it was angry. and nothing more... and i realised this only after reading it all over again. i don't know what it's about, but i'm hoping really bad that i didn't add to it. i think i'll be wasting my time if i went on hoping now.
once again, even though i was hurt and i was angry and furious and so so so pissed and disappointed, i still am sorry for all that i shouldn't have caused you in the first place. if there was something i could do, it would to be able to rewind time and make sure nothing of this happened.
i am sorry.
'i wanna spend the night with you'.
cold baths are relaxing and i'm thankful they exist. i feel much better and definitely calmer now, after a nice cold shower. but i feel really sleepy though, but well, you see, i'm not too ready to sleep. not just yet.
is it too late to say so? i guess it must be, it's been almost 11 months.
cold baths are relaxing and i'm thankful they exist. i feel much better and definitely calmer now, after a nice cold shower. but i feel really sleepy though, but well, you see, i'm not too ready to sleep. not just yet.
is it too late to say so? i guess it must be, it's been almost 11 months.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
'today feels more like my birthday'.
had a wonderful day today. though it didn't start out fantastically, it ended really fine.
i was really upset in the morning, god know's why. i just didn't feel really good and i was late, really late, and the 167 bus was making me motion-sick. so, when i joined Blodwen, Yixuan, Yiting, Kiu Yan, Kenneth, Harris, Carmina and Pao, i wasn't in the best of moods. instead, i was kinda violently pissed. i took joy in watching my plastic fork violently pierce through my salad.
anyway, after Carmina and Pao cheered me up, we went to watch a movie. The Game Plan. typical of a family show, i would say. heart-warming, as usual but not incredible or not too bad either. it was average. perhaps a three out of five. okay, moving on. so i was in a good mood and after that, Carmina, Pao, Kenneth, Harris and I went to the basement of Plaza Sing to get fried mars bars for myself and pao. yummy.
i went hyper with all the sugar. sugar overload actually. i felt really dizzy, everything looked bright and blur. oh yes, i got hoop earrings too. Pao got them for my birthday, i chose them. anyway, we walked to Funan and all. played a little Xbox and went home. and on the way to cityhall, we met Erica.
it wasn't much really, but it was happier than yesterday. and i love the company of my dearest friends, and well, i couldn't be more thankful that i've met them.
you could have just told me what you meant to say, which i presume went something like - you see, i'm really busy. too busy, in fact. and although i know that i'm expected to make time for these events, which i do think is really insignificant, i can't. and simply don't want to. you see, i'm a busy person, and the whole world needs me. or so i want to think. so i cannot spare anytime for you group of little people anymore. maybe, perhaps, another day... of course people need me, the whole world will weep when i die. because everything revolves around me, and always will. i can't believe you could say that no one cared. i don't see why no one should care for someone as great, as charming, as talented and as intelligent as me.
had a wonderful day today. though it didn't start out fantastically, it ended really fine.
i was really upset in the morning, god know's why. i just didn't feel really good and i was late, really late, and the 167 bus was making me motion-sick. so, when i joined Blodwen, Yixuan, Yiting, Kiu Yan, Kenneth, Harris, Carmina and Pao, i wasn't in the best of moods. instead, i was kinda violently pissed. i took joy in watching my plastic fork violently pierce through my salad.
anyway, after Carmina and Pao cheered me up, we went to watch a movie. The Game Plan. typical of a family show, i would say. heart-warming, as usual but not incredible or not too bad either. it was average. perhaps a three out of five. okay, moving on. so i was in a good mood and after that, Carmina, Pao, Kenneth, Harris and I went to the basement of Plaza Sing to get fried mars bars for myself and pao. yummy.
i went hyper with all the sugar. sugar overload actually. i felt really dizzy, everything looked bright and blur. oh yes, i got hoop earrings too. Pao got them for my birthday, i chose them. anyway, we walked to Funan and all. played a little Xbox and went home. and on the way to cityhall, we met Erica.
it wasn't much really, but it was happier than yesterday. and i love the company of my dearest friends, and well, i couldn't be more thankful that i've met them.
you could have just told me what you meant to say, which i presume went something like - you see, i'm really busy. too busy, in fact. and although i know that i'm expected to make time for these events, which i do think is really insignificant, i can't. and simply don't want to. you see, i'm a busy person, and the whole world needs me. or so i want to think. so i cannot spare anytime for you group of little people anymore. maybe, perhaps, another day... of course people need me, the whole world will weep when i die. because everything revolves around me, and always will. i can't believe you could say that no one cared. i don't see why no one should care for someone as great, as charming, as talented and as intelligent as me.
'what an enlightening holiday'.
it's been strange, the last few days. my impressions of different people have been changing constantly. and it's taking me some time to look at everyone in a different light. to really realise who they really are.
someone i used to love so much and treasure, for one, has seemed to evolved into an arrogant, snobish, sickening bastard. already, he was never close to mr perfect. now, he's just a ton worse. and it's a terrible disappointment because i thought he could have grown to be a really nice gentlemen if he had tried enough.
the stories i've heard about him have been so disappointing that i'm am actually extremely disgusted by who is really is. and, even though i don't have much of a choice still, i just wish that i could cut off all association with him. i wish i had not know him from the start and wouldn't have to, in the future. i'm awfully let down, and horrendously disgusted.
and, now, i'm starting to wonder, why didn't my friends stop me from even getting to know him? why couldn't they have violently objected? or more violently objected? i feel so disgusted at the fact that i even know him. may i forget this unfortunate incident, and may the heavens forgive my sin.
also, i've seen another side to someone else. i've to admit that i am not utterly disgusted, but still, a little disappointed. but this, i will find more easy to accept, for he still have time to mature into a great person. till then.
oh well, to you - like i've said, we'll always be here, hopefully. i have no idea if we'll still keep in contact in the near future but, well, you're a fun person and all and hopelessly nice. you'll find great friends, and i wish you all the best. and, all that i've promised, i keep. i will be here when you need. you have my word.
oh, i've been longing to post on my absolutely wonderful saturday. so here goes.
it was a wonderful bring and bloody sunny day. i woke up rather early and showered and got ready to leave the house. but just before i did, i turned on the computer and went onto anderson portal to check out our sec3 combinations, only to realise that i had been given drama as a humanities subject. of course, it was an error. so, i calmed myself down and allowed my mum to generously give me a lift to schoool. it was a cca day, for me.
so, when i got to school, my section had heart-warmingly prepared presents and a cupcake to celebrate my birthday. for this, i was genuinely touched and still am thankful and grateful for. however, not long after i marvelled at the beauty of my bitrhday gift, i left it behind at the coffee shop and walked off. me being me, i didn't realise it until 5 hours later, when seow hui kindly proceeded opposite to ask the owner's of the shop if they found it, for me, to no avail.
already in a horrid mood, after cca, like every other day, i proceeded to the tap area to wash my mouthpiece clean. however, as you can tell, luck was totally on my side on that very fortunate day. this resulted in me dropping my mouthpiece which is rather slippery when wet, onto the sink area. no, it was still in perfect condition when it touched the concrete grounds, as i watched it roll onto the closed drain. nothing broke. so, just as i sighed in relief, the cover of the drain flipped open and my mouthpiece fell into the bottomless hole in the ground.
and when i ran out off the bandroom to inform alvin of this wonderful incident, he smiled at me, telling me that the day was a 'particularly fine day' for me as he was implementing the fine system. i would have to pay for whatever i lost, however, alvin is still coming up with a price.
feeling really down, i went to the basketball court with seow hui, benjamin, alvin and sikai to play basketball. obviously, i was already not quite in the mood to, but i just tagged along, anyhow. so as i stood around the court, watching the guys' egos deflate gradually, everytime the ball missed, little primary school kids were playing football in the same court we were in. of course, they didn't yet realise that it was a basketball court and that them kicking the bloody soccer ball around, recklessly, was endangering us, until the bloody ball came flying at my head at an extremely high speed.
the force of the ball caused my left ear to go numb and my head to throb horribly. but, of course, they were only kids, i had to spare them, didn't i?
it's been strange, the last few days. my impressions of different people have been changing constantly. and it's taking me some time to look at everyone in a different light. to really realise who they really are.
someone i used to love so much and treasure, for one, has seemed to evolved into an arrogant, snobish, sickening bastard. already, he was never close to mr perfect. now, he's just a ton worse. and it's a terrible disappointment because i thought he could have grown to be a really nice gentlemen if he had tried enough.
the stories i've heard about him have been so disappointing that i'm am actually extremely disgusted by who is really is. and, even though i don't have much of a choice still, i just wish that i could cut off all association with him. i wish i had not know him from the start and wouldn't have to, in the future. i'm awfully let down, and horrendously disgusted.
and, now, i'm starting to wonder, why didn't my friends stop me from even getting to know him? why couldn't they have violently objected? or more violently objected? i feel so disgusted at the fact that i even know him. may i forget this unfortunate incident, and may the heavens forgive my sin.
also, i've seen another side to someone else. i've to admit that i am not utterly disgusted, but still, a little disappointed. but this, i will find more easy to accept, for he still have time to mature into a great person. till then.
oh well, to you - like i've said, we'll always be here, hopefully. i have no idea if we'll still keep in contact in the near future but, well, you're a fun person and all and hopelessly nice. you'll find great friends, and i wish you all the best. and, all that i've promised, i keep. i will be here when you need. you have my word.
oh, i've been longing to post on my absolutely wonderful saturday. so here goes.
it was a wonderful bring and bloody sunny day. i woke up rather early and showered and got ready to leave the house. but just before i did, i turned on the computer and went onto anderson portal to check out our sec3 combinations, only to realise that i had been given drama as a humanities subject. of course, it was an error. so, i calmed myself down and allowed my mum to generously give me a lift to schoool. it was a cca day, for me.
so, when i got to school, my section had heart-warmingly prepared presents and a cupcake to celebrate my birthday. for this, i was genuinely touched and still am thankful and grateful for. however, not long after i marvelled at the beauty of my bitrhday gift, i left it behind at the coffee shop and walked off. me being me, i didn't realise it until 5 hours later, when seow hui kindly proceeded opposite to ask the owner's of the shop if they found it, for me, to no avail.
already in a horrid mood, after cca, like every other day, i proceeded to the tap area to wash my mouthpiece clean. however, as you can tell, luck was totally on my side on that very fortunate day. this resulted in me dropping my mouthpiece which is rather slippery when wet, onto the sink area. no, it was still in perfect condition when it touched the concrete grounds, as i watched it roll onto the closed drain. nothing broke. so, just as i sighed in relief, the cover of the drain flipped open and my mouthpiece fell into the bottomless hole in the ground.
and when i ran out off the bandroom to inform alvin of this wonderful incident, he smiled at me, telling me that the day was a 'particularly fine day' for me as he was implementing the fine system. i would have to pay for whatever i lost, however, alvin is still coming up with a price.
feeling really down, i went to the basketball court with seow hui, benjamin, alvin and sikai to play basketball. obviously, i was already not quite in the mood to, but i just tagged along, anyhow. so as i stood around the court, watching the guys' egos deflate gradually, everytime the ball missed, little primary school kids were playing football in the same court we were in. of course, they didn't yet realise that it was a basketball court and that them kicking the bloody soccer ball around, recklessly, was endangering us, until the bloody ball came flying at my head at an extremely high speed.
the force of the ball caused my left ear to go numb and my head to throb horribly. but, of course, they were only kids, i had to spare them, didn't i?
'you're different now'.
now, i am truly disappointed. disappointment to the point of near disgust. perhaps, it wasn't all i thought it was. but well, anyhow, i'd have expected so much more from you. and i suppose that i shall have to lower my every expectation of you, now that you have helped me realise that you are what you are.
i'd like to pity you and assure you that it'll all be fine, but i'll fail to. so, i guess i shouldn't even start to try.
i trusted you, actually. a lot. i guess, this only teaches me to pick my friend more carefully and to get to know them for who they really are before letting myself trust them any further.
what a horrid disappointment you are. you haven't the faintest idea how much of a let down you are, to me.
now, i am truly disappointed. disappointment to the point of near disgust. perhaps, it wasn't all i thought it was. but well, anyhow, i'd have expected so much more from you. and i suppose that i shall have to lower my every expectation of you, now that you have helped me realise that you are what you are.
i'd like to pity you and assure you that it'll all be fine, but i'll fail to. so, i guess i shouldn't even start to try.
i trusted you, actually. a lot. i guess, this only teaches me to pick my friend more carefully and to get to know them for who they really are before letting myself trust them any further.
what a horrid disappointment you are. you haven't the faintest idea how much of a let down you are, to me.
Monday, November 05, 2007
'sorry, darling. i still love you'.
sorry geraldine! i hope your dinner was nice enough for you. i'm so sorry that i didn't stay with you the whole day. though i am genuinely touched by your coming down to buy me a birthday lunch. i couldn't remember the deal myself. (:
thanks girl. you made my day and once again, i'm sorry. i owe you one. next time, i'll come running down whenever you need me. i'll be your personal superhero, alright?
alright. i sound a little strange beause i'm tired. but well, you get me - i'm really sorry and i love you. thanks again, darling!
sorry geraldine! i hope your dinner was nice enough for you. i'm so sorry that i didn't stay with you the whole day. though i am genuinely touched by your coming down to buy me a birthday lunch. i couldn't remember the deal myself. (:
thanks girl. you made my day and once again, i'm sorry. i owe you one. next time, i'll come running down whenever you need me. i'll be your personal superhero, alright?
alright. i sound a little strange beause i'm tired. but well, you get me - i'm really sorry and i love you. thanks again, darling!
'wonderful day'.
i haven't much to say. it seems like i've lost the ability to express myself...
oh well, happy birthday, me.
Black Roses Red by Alana Grace:
Can I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed.
As twisted as it seems,
I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let the morning light come in and let the darkness fade away
Chorus:
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Drowning in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much emptiness inside
I could fill the deepest sea
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gone
It's time to let your love rain down on me
Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love (x6)
Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love
I'm feeling like I'll blame it on love
will you change my mind? because i'm hoping you do.
i hope i didn't mislead you in anyway that i didn't mean to. i need a stable shoulder to lean on and right now, i'm too scared to attempt to lean on anyone but myself.
i haven't much to say. it seems like i've lost the ability to express myself...
oh well, happy birthday, me.
Black Roses Red by Alana Grace:
Can I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed.
As twisted as it seems,
I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let the morning light come in and let the darkness fade away
Chorus:
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Drowning in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much emptiness inside
I could fill the deepest sea
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gone
It's time to let your love rain down on me
Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love (x6)
Can you turn my black roses red? (x3)
Cuz I'm feelin like I'll blame it on love
I'm feeling like I'll blame it on love
will you change my mind? because i'm hoping you do.
i hope i didn't mislead you in anyway that i didn't mean to. i need a stable shoulder to lean on and right now, i'm too scared to attempt to lean on anyone but myself.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
'i do not look like a butch'.
i got a hair cut which is really short, i would have to admit. but i kept my fringe. comments that have been streaming in from my family is around the lines of 'minjun, you look like a bloody butch. gosh, could you be anymore tomboy than you already are. and for once, we thought you were getting to be more feminine. minjun, you have let us down in every way'.
oh, whatever. i like my haircut. live with it.
links have been changed to suit Soma's particularly touchy mood.
i got a hair cut which is really short, i would have to admit. but i kept my fringe. comments that have been streaming in from my family is around the lines of 'minjun, you look like a bloody butch. gosh, could you be anymore tomboy than you already are. and for once, we thought you were getting to be more feminine. minjun, you have let us down in every way'.
oh, whatever. i like my haircut. live with it.
links have been changed to suit Soma's particularly touchy mood.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
'let's pretend you're mine. we could just pretend'.
No Sleep 2nite by The Faders:
I got you, I got you on my mind
And it's time to make you see (what I want)
So i'll just make this a little more obvious
Cuz I get what I want, and I want you to get with me
Don't think you know,
How far I'm gonna go
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away,
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
There's no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You won't get, no sleep tonight
You want me, you want me all the time
And you don't need nothing else
But you seem to be a little oblivious
So i'll show you the way if you think that you need some help
Tell me baby
Are you coming, with me
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
Theres no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You wont get no sleep tonight
No sleep tonight,
No sleep tonight,
Boy you won't be sleeping
No sleep tonight
Do I have to spell it out in black and white
Boy you won't be sleeping
No sleep tonight
Do I have to spell it out in black and white
Oh oh oh oh oh
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
Theres no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You wont get no sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
4ever by The Veronicas:
Here we are so what you gonna do
Do I gotta spell it out for you
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don't really care
Size me up you know I beat the best
Tick tock no time to rest
Let 'em say what they're gonna say but tonight,
I just don't really care
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Uh-oh
I've seen it all I've got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me let's leave it all behind tonight (Follow me)
Like we just don't care
Let me take you on the ride of your life
That's what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say 'cause tonight,
I just don't even care
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Uh-oh
Let's pretend you're mine
(We could just pretend, we could just pretend yeah, yeah)
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you'll want more
So tell me what you're waiting for
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Yeah... forever...
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together - together
And I wanna spend the night with you
(Yeah yeah) - with you, yeah
With you (yeah yeah)
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
(uh-oh)
yes, it's all to you. every line, every word, every 'i want you'.
No Sleep 2nite by The Faders:
I got you, I got you on my mind
And it's time to make you see (what I want)
So i'll just make this a little more obvious
Cuz I get what I want, and I want you to get with me
Don't think you know,
How far I'm gonna go
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away,
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
There's no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You won't get, no sleep tonight
You want me, you want me all the time
And you don't need nothing else
But you seem to be a little oblivious
So i'll show you the way if you think that you need some help
Tell me baby
Are you coming, with me
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
Theres no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You wont get no sleep tonight
No sleep tonight,
No sleep tonight,
Boy you won't be sleeping
No sleep tonight
Do I have to spell it out in black and white
Boy you won't be sleeping
No sleep tonight
Do I have to spell it out in black and white
Oh oh oh oh oh
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
You can't stop this, feeling
You can't run away
Baby I'm what's on your mind
You can't stop this, feeling
Theres no escape,
No sleep tonight,
You wont get no sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
Oh oh oh oh oh!
No sleep tonight
4ever by The Veronicas:
Here we are so what you gonna do
Do I gotta spell it out for you
I can see that you got other plans for tonight
But I don't really care
Size me up you know I beat the best
Tick tock no time to rest
Let 'em say what they're gonna say but tonight,
I just don't really care
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Uh-oh
I've seen it all I've got nothing to prove
Come on baby just make your move
Follow me let's leave it all behind tonight (Follow me)
Like we just don't care
Let me take you on the ride of your life
That's what I said alright
They can say what they wanna say 'cause tonight,
I just don't even care
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Uh-oh
Let's pretend you're mine
(We could just pretend, we could just pretend yeah, yeah)
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you'll want more
So tell me what you're waiting for
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you (Yeah, yeah)
With you (Yeah yeah)
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
Yeah... forever...
Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together - together
And I wanna spend the night with you
(Yeah yeah) - with you, yeah
With you (yeah yeah)
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last forever
(uh-oh)
yes, it's all to you. every line, every word, every 'i want you'.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
'will post on the class chalet when i receive all photos. for now...'
got this of a friend's blog. some questions are hopelessly amusing:
1. what song are you listening to now ?
none at the moment.
2. Any opinions on kisses ?
it can be a sweet display of affection through caressment of the lips.
3. what colour's your keyboard ?
well, it was white. i'd say it's yellow now.
4. what's the nearest yellow item ?
my school pe shirt which i am currently wearing.
5. went out today ?
not at all.
6. where's your family ?
all at home, except for my mum.
7. how're you feeling now ?
quite obviously, rather bored.
8. have a crush on anybody ?
not exactly.
9. do you blog ?
no, no. not at all, i don't.
10. what's your favourite colour ?
black.
11. play any musical instruments ?
my eupho! my love. my 98.
12. what are you wearing now ?
shirt, shorts, undergarments, thank you.
13. favourite ice cream flavour ?
anything from Ben and Jerry's.
14. has your birthday passed ?
nope. but it's around the corner!
15. what colours are your slippers ?
black.
16. when did you last eat potato chips ?
two days ago, i would guess.
17 . Miss anybody ?
41 people! - 2/3
18. are you watching tv now ?
i'm doing this quiz. i would think that it's quite normal for me to be facing the monitor while i do so.
19. eaten dinner yet ?
nope.
20. how old are you ?
13, turning onto 14 in less than a week's time.
and another:
1. How late did you stay up last night?
i didn't manage till night. i slept at 3:30 pm.
2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
'i'm awake, great.'
3. How's your heart lately?
the last i checked, it's beating.
4. What were you doing this morning at 7am?
sleeping. dreaming.
5. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?
turning on the computer.
6. What was the reason you last cried?
i couldn't bare to leave 2/3. i dreaded leaving 2/3 and i was almost afraid of doing so.
7. What did you do this weekend?
last weekend? hm, i can't recall...
8. What are you looking forward to?
my birthday.
9.What do you want for your birthday?
to see all i love.
10. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
yeah.
11. How many red lights have you ran?
i don't drive or cycle on roads - it can be rather dangerous.
12. Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
not that i recall.
13. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
definitely.
14. When was the last time you were given roses?
valentines day.
15. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
not really.
16. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling?
yeah.
17. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
there we go, stupid spelling errors.
18. Do you drink tea?
yeap.
19. When was the last time you saw a cop?
when the two indian boys drowned at pasir ris, i think.
20. Did you ride in someone else's car today?
nope, didn't leave the house.
21. What are you listening to right now?
Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco.
22. What are you doing tomorrow?
going for band!
23. How much money do you make?
none.
24. What is the closest green object toyou?
a thesaurus on the bookshelf, two metres away.
25. What was the last movie you saw?
Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!
26. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
it would depend. the last person i kissed was weishan when we were tired and hugged and turned the wrong ways, on definite accident. the last time i kissed a person intentionally was because i loved him.
i was looking through my Oxford Dictionary and found this. i think it's rather ironic and amusing. you see, i'm kinda bored...
'dictionary n. book that lists and explains the words of a language or the topics of a subject.'
got this of a friend's blog. some questions are hopelessly amusing:
1. what song are you listening to now ?
none at the moment.
2. Any opinions on kisses ?
it can be a sweet display of affection through caressment of the lips.
3. what colour's your keyboard ?
well, it was white. i'd say it's yellow now.
4. what's the nearest yellow item ?
my school pe shirt which i am currently wearing.
5. went out today ?
not at all.
6. where's your family ?
all at home, except for my mum.
7. how're you feeling now ?
quite obviously, rather bored.
8. have a crush on anybody ?
not exactly.
9. do you blog ?
no, no. not at all, i don't.
10. what's your favourite colour ?
black.
11. play any musical instruments ?
my eupho! my love. my 98.
12. what are you wearing now ?
shirt, shorts, undergarments, thank you.
13. favourite ice cream flavour ?
anything from Ben and Jerry's.
14. has your birthday passed ?
nope. but it's around the corner!
15. what colours are your slippers ?
black.
16. when did you last eat potato chips ?
two days ago, i would guess.
17 . Miss anybody ?
41 people! - 2/3
18. are you watching tv now ?
i'm doing this quiz. i would think that it's quite normal for me to be facing the monitor while i do so.
19. eaten dinner yet ?
nope.
20. how old are you ?
13, turning onto 14 in less than a week's time.
and another:
1. How late did you stay up last night?
i didn't manage till night. i slept at 3:30 pm.
2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
'i'm awake, great.'
3. How's your heart lately?
the last i checked, it's beating.
4. What were you doing this morning at 7am?
sleeping. dreaming.
5. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?
turning on the computer.
6. What was the reason you last cried?
i couldn't bare to leave 2/3. i dreaded leaving 2/3 and i was almost afraid of doing so.
7. What did you do this weekend?
last weekend? hm, i can't recall...
8. What are you looking forward to?
my birthday.
9.What do you want for your birthday?
to see all i love.
10. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
yeah.
11. How many red lights have you ran?
i don't drive or cycle on roads - it can be rather dangerous.
12. Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
not that i recall.
13. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
definitely.
14. When was the last time you were given roses?
valentines day.
15. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
not really.
16. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling?
yeah.
17. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
there we go, stupid spelling errors.
18. Do you drink tea?
yeap.
19. When was the last time you saw a cop?
when the two indian boys drowned at pasir ris, i think.
20. Did you ride in someone else's car today?
nope, didn't leave the house.
21. What are you listening to right now?
Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At The Disco.
22. What are you doing tomorrow?
going for band!
23. How much money do you make?
none.
24. What is the closest green object toyou?
a thesaurus on the bookshelf, two metres away.
25. What was the last movie you saw?
Win A Date With Tad Hamilton!
26. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
it would depend. the last person i kissed was weishan when we were tired and hugged and turned the wrong ways, on definite accident. the last time i kissed a person intentionally was because i loved him.
i was looking through my Oxford Dictionary and found this. i think it's rather ironic and amusing. you see, i'm kinda bored...
'dictionary n. book that lists and explains the words of a language or the topics of a subject.'
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