'wishing you were somehow here again'.

january 12th, 2007. she couldn't forget the date or the way he looked at her the whole night through. on that night, he seemed so real, for once in her life. he seemed to have loved her so. he held on to her every word, her every action, he seemed to notice.

for once, she thought he would never leave her side, she though it would last, just the way she always did, and still does, wish it had. and when he spoke to her, the look in his eyes showed so much affection that she was almost surprised. it had never been that way before, but she thought it wouldn't kill to get use to. it was heaven, it was a dream come true.

he loved her now, so what more could she ask for anymore? she had him by her side. there was nothing more in the world she wanted at that very moment. everything seemed right, it seemed in place. and she was more than happy, she felt so... alive. she felt loved, by him. and it was something she would die for.

the night was over and as she sat with him at the bus stop, and looked into his eyes, she wished time would just pause. the way she wished time paused on the evening of december 4th, 2006. those moments of perfection don't come along everyday, and she knew, very well, they were worth remembering. she remembers telling him that she would never let anyone speak bad of him in such a matter, even though she loved them so, it didn't matter. she remembers looking into his eyes and telling herself that he was all she needed.

and as his bus neared them, she felt like screaming. she didn't want it to be over so soon but it was, and she guessed, there wasn't much she could do.

they got up and stood by the road. and he held her hands, to his chest. she could feel the warmth, his warmth, his heartbeat. she looked into his eyes, his face, the one of the boy she fell for, the boy she wished she could be with, every waking moment, as he leaned into her and pressed his lips against her's.

that kiss was different, and she felt it. she wanted to open her eyes to look into his, but she was so afraid of what she might see. she was scared of knowing it would be their last, it would be his final goodbye. so instead, she put her arms around his neck, she wanted more. she pressed into him, but he pulled back as the bus eased beside them. she wanted to think that that kiss was just a goodnight kiss, a temporary goodbye. but she knew more, and she must have been kidding herself to have even hoped so.

it was their last, it was his goodbye. it felt like he was apologizing, it felt like the last bit of love he had, in him, for her left him when he kissed her for the last time. and when she walked off, unsure of what to feel, unsure everything, she wished so hard that the night repeat itself once more. she wished so hard that she had turned away, not allowing to happen, then perhaps, he'd never have said goodbye. he would always stay by her side, by her.


Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again O.S.T. of The Phantom Of The Opera:

You were once my one companion. You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could...

Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental
Seem, for you, the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle...
Too many years fighting back tears...
Why can't the past just die?

Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try!
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say goodbye. Help me say goodbye!