'it's supposed to be easy'.

i was walking with Sharil after band yesterday. spoke to him a little bit about a lot. he makes sense, but it's easier said than done. really.

it took me one and a half weeks to accept and attempt to stand on my feet again. it took me 2 seconds to fall back to the ground. literally, two seconds. one sentence, two seconds.

i'm weak, i know it. i want to try not to be, i can't. i haven't succeeded. i just keep falling over and over again... and with everytime i do, my confidence of standing up again just lowers again by another notch. it drops drops drops. and i just break every single bloody time.

if only i could live for just 12 years and 117 days. if only so, it'll be my last day tomorrow.

god, let me have a lifespan of 12 years and 117 days. please. it's my only wish.


he said, 'so should you.'