'just let go off me'.

everything happens so suddenly. like wham! reality just comes and surprises you by whacking your face flat all over again. letting me relive the stinging pain on my cheek. letting me relive the throbbing head. letting me feel my stomach knot up all over again, my chest stiffening, leaving me to just gasp for air...

these are reasons that keep me awake every night. reasons that leave the dark buldges under my dreary eyes. reasons to my unenergetic face and dead reactions... reasons that i wish would just go away, leave me to live. for once.

oh yes. thanks miss lee =D thanks Rae and Yan Tze too (x somehow, not to my knowing why, the things that a few particular people say just brighten up my day. and yes, they never fail to be horribly sweet to me... so yes, thank you people.

i want to sleep. i need to. i need the rest, the time to let myself recuperate from the day, or try to... but i'm afraid. for when my eyes are closed, sometimes, the darkest and scariest things that live in me come out to play. they hold me in so tight, and no matter how i scream or struggle they wouldn't budge, in this world known as - dreams.

Here With Me by Dido:

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

alright, i shall try again and face up to what i have to: i'm going to sleep.