'too late, thanks for the warning though'.

i lost my voice. or close to that. my throat feels like it's on fire. everytime i cough, a dry sick sound is created from somewhere in that burning well in me. the sound so coarse and the pain so hurting that it makes me nauseous. but to hell with the damn physical pain. it's just physical. and actually, i'm honestly thankful. although i may not sound that way, i am.

as i write this post, ironically, i've felt my throat burn and my stomach turn a sick feeling on me about twelve times already.


i wished so much to be there. i couldn't make it. i wish i could jump into the air, with my fist clenched ever so tight and with the smile on my face ever so well plastered and scream, a scream of thanks. a thanks that my absence was a blessing, for me and for the many others... i wish it were a blessing. or at least feel that having not been there was ever so close to a gift from the heavens.

sadly, i fail to. like alot of other things, i fail to accomplish this one thing too. this one small tiny wish. yes, like alot of other things.


i thought this sick illness would drained me of physical energy. i thought it was just that. ah, well, apparently not. as of everything else, my assumptions are once proven wrong again. again.