'what the hell did i do?'

do i have to lose everyone i love before it'll be all fine. how can it be fine if i lose everyone i love?

this is worse than january 9th or january 28th. it's worse than anything i've ever been through. anyday i've ever lived through. i wish it were all a dream and that i'll wake up tomorrow, and it'll be saturday and i'd sms bryan and i'll be off to meet joshua and yan tze.


must i lose everyone i love?