'torn between two sides'.

band camp was tiring. but yes, we survived everything, together.


two sides. i'm stuck in between and i wish i could choose a side. i wish i could ignore the fact that everything isn't going right on either side either. well, sadly, i can't. neither can i help but doubt everything that goes through my mind, everything that steals my breath. if i could erase every thought, every past event. oh how wonderful a thought...

i watch you walk away, i do nothing. what can i? sugar-coated words. they all came down to the same hard cold fact. i needed you there, you didn't seem like you wanted to be. i want to be there, you don't seem like you need me no more. i wish that i could be by your side forever, to stand by you, every second of my life. it's all i've been wanting for weeks.

you sat, you couldn't be that oblivious, i'm sure. the sad truth was revealed ages ago, yes. well, i can say i haven't really accepted it very well, i don't plan to want to. i can't. but i watch you fall, like i never have before. i want to be there, i want to know that you'll feel better in a while. i want to know that i can put a smile back onto your face... but oh wait, i did forget. you're all grown up, you, with no doubt, don't need me anymore.


if i could just hold you in my arms and tell you it'll all be okay.


When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne:

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were
Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok
I miss you

don't walk away, please. come back.