'i must have been stupid'.

i expected this to happen. but i never thought it would kill me so much, i never expected it to be so bad. i thought i would recover within an instant. i thought it'd be all over before i knew it, i thought i'd be fine and able to play perfectly sooner or later. but it's killing me to realise that something i've done for six, seven years is suddenly something i cannot perform at all, at least not anymore.

i want to play my eupho, i really do. i don't want to let anyone down, i really don't, not in forever. but i don't know how i'm going to do this. not anymore, i don't.