'i like this feeling'.

i feel so drugged and dazed and so bloody spaced-out. like i'm floating in this whole other space, dimension. at least my mind is. and i feel so good this way. like everything bad has disappear from the face of earth, no, from this world that i am in. there's no sins. clear out of them. i'm free and happy. i'm smiling.

in reality, i'm smiling to the monitor with a dazed expression on my face. in my world, i'm smiling and laughing in esctasy, alone in this dimension. i dream a house, white and secluded. away from people, miles and miles away. it's tiny. but simple, plain, square. one bedroom, huge white bed, soft and nice. simple straight fridge stuffed with food. white huge bean bag couches lie all over the ash-wood floors... the plants are hanging from the ceilings in white pots. i see a silhouette at the end of the room. he stares at me and smiles. he says he loves me. i smile. and for once, i feel more than blessed. i feel immortal.

whoever he is, whoever i wish him to be, he almost feels like God. he's like The One. he is all i need. who that matter the most in my life... in reality and in my dreams. and i love him.