'i want to scream scream scream'.

i have no idea how to describe how i feel now. i want to scream and scream and scream till i drop dead on the floor. yes, i'd like that. but thinking of screaming now, i don't even know if the scream will come out a scream of happiness or frustration or mere agony =X i need a friend i can trust. i need her/him by my side now... the problem is: i don't have one i trust enough ): i'm horrible. tell me.

i've got math homework to do ): boo hoo. i don't want! but no choice... blah =X i'm starting to really despise school. i just dread leaving the house in the morning and knowing that school is the place i'm leaving for. and the best part is that it has only been 5 days now. i don't know how i'm gonna last anymore... argh. i'm going mad. Yan Tze was right the other day when she warned me to not 'lose it' =X she's right. i can't help it but say that.

my heart, in the least my mind, can't figure out the expression i should be carrying on my face now. i feel lost in sheer confusion... my emotions are so dead they haven't figured what to do.

blah. i know this is getting more depressing... but i need a channel for these thoughts. so excuse me.

oh yes, i read this book called Crank. if only i could write just like the author. she writes so well... it's amazing she's even human. i'm amazed. stunned. whatever =X she write so beautifully, you wonder if her plan was to make you go crazy and immerse yourself so deeply into the book you become someone else totally. ha.

i guess it wasn't just my thoughts...

i still need to scream scream scream.