Sunday, January 28, 2007

'you could have listened'.

i didn't sleep well again. well, you could say i brought it on myself because, for one, i stayed up till 2 to call joshua. i don't like sleeping. i hate having to wake up from a dream and know it's not reality. know it wouldn't ever be... i learn my lesson, i learnt that dream and reality will never ever merge. i learnt that most of the time, you'll lose what you gain... well, after a while.

yes, so i stayed up. because i felt like shit. i hate sleeping. and i needed to think. something about that current situation i was in, didn't seem anything right. there was a way, there was a door somewhere. i just couldn't find it. i had a feeling i was the only affected one... i didn't trust my feelings anymore. so i just sat and cried.

i told you, i clearly did: do not open the letter. i told you to bloody shread it up. maybe i should have listened to my feelings because they screamed to me 'go there and camp at the mailbox and make sure your letter doesn't go in!' i should have shouldn't i?...

i wish you could forget all the words you read. pretend it never crossed your mind... you won't will you?

i love you.

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