'beautifully broken'.

today was like the first day i have ever, in my life, walked from j8 to my house. it wasn't a really long distance. neither was the bus wait a long time. i have no idea why i walked. it beats me till now... bus 54 came right after i took about 10 steps out of the bus stop. i didn't bother to turn around... i needed the walk. i wanted the walk. i had no idea why. i still don't actually... but i know Jessica does.

i walked pass bishan 800. i walked pass raffles instituition. i walked pass raffles junior college. i walked pass the industrial buildings. and all the while, i kept hearing a voice in my head asking what the hell i was doing. why i was walking when i could have bloody took the bus and get back home 20 minutes earlier. the voice told me there must have been a reason why i had to walk the ruote i walked... i told it that i just needed exercise and other than that, i had no bloody idea why i was walking. i just liked it. the voice laughed softly. the laugh was familiar, it was Jessica's.

not long after, after i passed the traffic junction, Jessica whispered about how she knew why i was walking. she claimed there was a reason to why i was walking and tiring myself out even more. Jessica said it was the same reason as to why i'm doing everything else... she chuckled and asked if i wanted to know. Jessica sounded as though she was absolutely right with her silly assumption. i shook my head and i told her, 'go away. i don't have to know... i don't want to'. she left me alone.

maybe she was right, i had a meaning to walking that distance. i had a silent prayer embedded within me as i walked. i wanted something as i took every step, heading towards home. i needed something as i walked that path, something i always have... i know it very clear, deep inside me somewhere. and i just wish it wasn't true... so as for now, i'll deny, i'll deceive.

i do not know anything... i really really don't.

Beautifully Broken by Ashley Simpson:

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try, I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes

[Chorus]
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it

Everyday is a new day, I'm reminded of my past
Everytime there's another storm I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I get another chance
But I will try, I will try
Got nothing left to hide

[Chorus]
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it

Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go...

[Chorus]
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Ohh....
I'm beautifully broken
I'm beautifully broken

I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it

off to do my script for debate. and then my essay... and shit. i didn't bring back my books. argh.