'the greatest thing in life is to love and be loved in return'.

a beautiful phrase of The Moulin Rouge. haha. something stucked with me for life. i will never never forget it because somehow, although i may or may not have truly been loved -something i'll never know will i xP LOL- i think it is so real. it's so... honest.

haha. yeah, retail theraphy did help. but still, my mind is still half preoccupied with issues -usual things- other than clothes and looks. haha...

makes me wonder of so many things. maybe things i'll never know, or never will be told... well, which idiot would come and tell you out of the blue -unless you grow skin as thick as an elephant's and get the guts to ask- that he had truly loved you once before, or still does? who would? i mean, guys are like thick idiots =X they don't do such things do they? XD haha.

i hate being kept in the dark... damn do i wish i was an elephant. or at least, i wish i had think skin and i had no shame of being rejected, ignored, turned-away... whatever. i just wish i had had, have, the guts )x


haha. i look back to yesterday and i thought: hm... if one were to ask me when i had my saddest vday, '2007' would forever, probably, remain as my answer. aha. i mean... it wasn't like fatally horrible but it was saddening )x i didn't get all i wanted or expected... maybe i dream too much i guess. maybe i hope too much. maybe i just never learn to let go of the impossible. maybe i imagine too much. maybe. maybe not. but gosh, did i really really really want to hear so much more...

vday was a disappointment this year. you were a disappointment this year...