'i will remember you'.

i was chosen for debate. amazingly. ha. i didn't want to be chosen! i mean i know i'm not up to it. i'm not good enough... i don't want to let the team down, i don't want to cause any bad results. i'm not yet confirmed a speaker but i am one of the five-two of which are confirmed speaking- that will be part of the team. i have either the role or note taking or speaking. i'd prefer scribbling...

with everyday coming, i realised i'm getting weaker. i only had that little bit of spirit in me. it was limited. now, it's gone. used up. i'm feeling really really weak... i'd think i can drop dead on the ground any moment now. and actually, i wish i would. i really do. i can't go on like this, i can't go on like the undead. i want to live. god, let me live! you tell me i can if i let myself... i've tried. really. but death's shadow just haunts me, although it's mine...

emotionally and mentally, i'm detoriating. may time just pause. may it always have.

how are you?

I Will Remember You by Sarah Mclachlan:

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Weep not for the memories

be strong. for yourself at least.