'nothing feels real'.

it's been so long but nothing feels real. i've been typing, i've been talking to people and yet every word that appears on the screen or slips off my tongue just doesn't seem right. well, at least everything i say about a certain someone doesn't seem right...

i know coping with lost isn't easy for anyone. but it's harder to think that the person's still living and walking and bloody hell kicking, but yet, almost seems as though the lost is so real that that one person doesn't seem existent anymore... like gone. forever. for good.

everything just seems so dreamy and so unreal that i would almost expect to feel a tap on my shoulder and find myself in his arms, staring into the sky, on a rooftop. still happy, alive and very much smiling. but as always, i wish too much... as though there's any possibility of it coming true.